Hello, my name is Karen. How can I help you?

I love people and I love meeting new people.  I love hearing about their lives and experiences.  Some of the most unassuming people have the most interesting lives.  One of my former colleagues escaped a communist country, by himself, when he was a young adult.  It took working with him almost 10 years to pull that out of him.  I think he should write a book.  There are happy, well-adjusted, successful people that have had horrible pasts.  Hearing their stories is inspiring.

I love helping people.  In fact, one of my biggest motivators in a job is being helpful.  I can be competitive (as anyone that has played Words With Friends with me can testify), but I will go out of my way to help someone else be successful.  Some people call that customer service, I call it "doing my job."  Sometimes I am placed in a position where I am asked to help someone that is unkind.  I do it not because I want to, but because it is the right thing to do.  My favorite times are helping someone that I truly like or that has been gracious to me; not as character building, just a joyful experience.

I don't like talking about myself.  I (clearly) like talking about places I've been to, and experiences I've had; I love telling stories.  I don't like telling people how wonderful I am and why they should hire me.  In fact, once I've accomplished something, I generally forget about it and move on to my next challenge.  I have sat in meetings and listened to my boss say "We used to have this problem but Karen did this and fixed it", and I'd think "Oh yeah, that's right, I did."

Statistics say that 70% of jobs are found via "networking."  Networking takes many forms, among them are: telling everyone you know what type of job you are seeking, coffees, lunches, and networking groups.  Networking can be very humbling when someone that you liked, but let go, asks for your resume because they heard of a job for which they think you would be a good fit. But networking is not just about you, it's about how you can help others.  Networking is meeting someone, introducing yourself and asking how you can help the other person.  I dread having to tell a stranger how they can help me, but I think I've finally gotten my elevator speech polished after hearing so many others give theirs.

Meeting new people, hearing their stories, helping them, coffee, lunch, sounds like something right up my alley; for the most part it is.  The exception? Networking groups.

On my way to a networking group

Anyone that has ever been to a singles group knows that the first time you attend you will immediately be accosted by the person that has been a member the longest.  They will also have the poorest social skills and will attempt to monopolize your time.

Networking groups are very similar to singles groups.  There are some very good people that are a joy to meet and a pleasure to help.  There are those that are likely good people, just a little rough around the edges.  My least favorite, those that were not nice before they started their search, are still disagreeable, and now bitter about their situation.  The real gems are those that are not seeking anything, just there to help others. I've been blessed to meet a couple of these saints.

I have had some interesting things said to me in networking groups.  It's really hard to want to help someone that you are pretty sure is an HR nightmare when they make comments that are unprofessional at best and borderline illegal.  Or most recently after attending my 3rd networking group in 3 days, I made the comment that I was tired of talking about myself, only to have the Asian woman standing next to me say "That's really surprising, I thought all Americans liked to talk about themselves."  (Wow, so glad I dressed up and left the house at 6:30 a.m. to talk with you.)  These are the situations where I keep smiling and pretend I didn't hear.

Will I continue to attend these groups?  Certainly, although I'll likely limit myself to one per week.   It gives me opportunity to help others that truly need it.  I have met some lovely and impressive people, some that I think may even be friends once I make it through this transition.  These groups keep me sharp handling difficult people during a time when I have the potential to spend a lot of time alone or only with people I like.  Finally, I find that God will often use annoying people or situations to bring about good in my life.  The good might not be a job, but one never knows.

To those of you reading this that have been part of my networking experience by passing along my resume, making introductions, encouraging or praying, I cannot tell you how much your help means to me, I talk about you a lot.  If I haven't already, I hope one day to return the favor.