The Waiting

Tom Petty was right, the waiting is the hardest part; not that the rest of it is easy.  The research, preparation, travel, activity and follow-up, all take time, effort and skill.  So, what brings this rock anthem to mind?  The business ritual known as interviewing.

I, unlike most people I know, like to interview.  I find joy in meeting new people and hearing their story.  I consider that the company needs to sell themselves to me as much as I to them.  Every interview is a chance to meet someone and learn something new.  If it doesn't work out, it wasn't a failure, it just wasn't meant to be.

Getting ready for an interview happens long before the suit blouse is ever pressed or I hit the shower, it starts with researching the company and the participants.  Google is great for this, so is LinkedIn.  Reading people's bios on LinkedIn can give hints on their personality and what's important to them.  It also gives ideas for targeted questions that can be asked.  A new player to me in this space is Glassdoor.com, which allows a person to get an idea of the culture, pay and interview experiences at a company.  Keep in mind, these are all opinions and the source needs to be considered.  However, if there are hundreds of reviewers and the majority lean one way, there's a good chance the reviews are accurate.

One thing that helped me get ready for an interview was to re-read my annual performance evaluations.  One of my weaknesses is that I forget what I've done.  This becomes a major problem when I am supposed to tell strangers how wonderful I am going to make their work life if they hire me.  Reviewing my accomplishments helped me remember the stories that would eventually become interview answers.  Help also came when I was asked to write a reference for a previous teammate.  I asked him what accomplishments he wanted me to highlight.  Lucky me, more experiences I could talk about.

Pretty much every company starts with phone interviews.  It might be convenient to interview in your 'jams and tidy up the house at the same time, but not being able to see the person's expressions is a definite downside.  It also leads to talking over the other person and a lot of "I'm sorry".  My 2 cats can be very demanding for attention and when they don't get it, vocal.  They also don't like closed doors (it usually means they are going in the evil car).  Early on, I would interview in the car inside the garage to ensure not only would they not bother me, but also that the interviewer wouldn't think I was torturing them.  Not the most conducive environment, particularly during a heat wave.  I've since decided to take a risk and hope they'll sleep through interviews, most of the time they have.

After the phone interview, waiting. . . . . and then the call to find a convenient time for you to come onsite. . . . . waiting . . . . . . an interview is scheduled.

The actual interview doesn't make me nervous, but that doesn't mean that I don't experience that emotion.  The activity that produces the most anxiety for me is traveling to the interview.  Some of my friends won't find this surprising as I insist on being annoyingly early to some activities (flights, the opera).  Others will raise an eyebrow as I can also be notoriously late, inspiring under/overs on my arrival time (Sunday service call time).  And sometimes I rely on friends to help me as I try to jam as much as possible into a short period of time and arrive just in time (signing up for a rowing class).   Interviewing falls into the first example and when I recently had to travel 60 miles during morning rush hour, I arrived an hour early, prompting a visit to Starbucks to kill time.   I won't arrive to the actual interview more than 15 minutes early as I remember how irritating it was when interviewees arrived 30 minutes or more earlier and announced their arrival as if I could rearrange my day to accommodate them.

You can tell a lot about a company by the receptionist.  At one company, the receptionists were not only friendly, but told me it was a good sign I was there for a second interview and wished me luck.  At each of the interviews at that company, I was not only provided bottled water, but when it was time for lunch, they didn't schedule an interview during that time and allowed me to spend time in their garden until the next interview began.

One-on-one interviews are most people's preference, after all, it's more like a conversation.  Panel interviews can be intimidating, or not.  When I used to sing solos, I would find one person in the audience that looked miserable and make it my mission to cheer them.  I look at panel interviews the same way.  I have smilingly called out quiet interviewers and asked them questions, forcing them to participate.  I choose to make it a party rather than an inquisition.

Once the interview is over, I question every answer and think about how I could have answered it better and write thank you notes.   And of course the waiting . . .

Peter and the Psalms say that to God, a day is like a thousand years and a thousand years are like a day.  Or for Whovians, it's like when The Doctor thought he had left Amelia for 5 minutes, but was actually gone for 12 years.   Waiting to hear back from a company is a little like being Amelia Pond,   except that I'm not sitting in a garden in my wellies and unlike God and The Doctor, the company doesn't exist outside of time, but has a billion other things to do; getting back to me is just another task on their list.  I don't think they are being inconsiderate, I think it's just the way it is.  This is a process; if it's meant to be, it will happen.

At the advice of someone recently landed, I have followed up when a recruiter didn't get back to me when they said they would, but mostly, I wait.  I try to not to think about it and apply for other jobs, pray, meet folks for lunch or coffee, read, bake, engage in a household tasks, go to the gym, take pictures of the sunset.  When someone asks me "How's it going?", I quote Tom Petty.

Not Alone

The last 10 years, I was employed by a well respected company and had jobs that allowed me to challenge myself, utilizing my talents and intellect. I developed relationships with quality people, visited some beautiful and exotic places, gained new skills.  I could be angry and bitter that was taken away from me, instead, I am choosing to be grateful that I had a work experience most people only dream about.

Yesterday was my last official day as an employee of that fine company.  I turned in my separation paperwork and purchased my final allocation of company products.  I suppose I should have been sad, but I wasn't.  There are still good people there and I wish the company the very best, but the company to which I gave my all was gone before I walked out the door.  I did my mourning 6 months ago.

One of the questions I'm asked most often is "How are you doing?"  This isn't the polite rhetorical question we all ask, people want to know how I am holding up emotionally during the job search.  And the answer is for the most part, pretty well.

I am grateful right now for my strong faith.  I do know that God has a plan for my welfare (Jer 29:11).  I have been sending out a status report and prayer requests (I will in many ways always be a project manager) and have been very specific in one of my prayers.  I was asking that I receive a job offer by my final date of employment.  That didn't happen.  I had one friend gently tell me I was putting God on my timetable, to which I responded "not really."  God wants us to ask him for things (James 4:2b).  I'm not angry.  I don't believe God did not hear me, or answer that prayer.  The answer to that prayer was "no."  We live in a culture that promotes if we do steps A,B and C that D will happen and we apply that perspective to God.  God wants us to ask, but God is not a formula or Amazon.  God is God.  He knows what's best for me (us).  He sees and knows things that I do not.  I honestly believe that there is something I'm supposed to learn, a person I'm supposed to meet or an experience I'm supposed to have, and when that happens, I'll find the job I'm supposed to have.  I do believe that God is the one that will provide my next job, but that I also need to do work.  As Dallas Willard pointed out in the Divine Conspiracy "Rather than pray the weeds go away in your garden, go pull them."

My strongest emotion is hopefulness, my next strongest emotions are boredom and frustration.  I am so bored with talking about myself.  I am an extrovert, but bored with networking.  I want to look at a stranger and only be interested in who they are and learning more about them instead of wondering if they know someone that can help me find a job.  Ugh!  I am bored with reading job descriptions searching for what they are really looking for so I can make sure my resume scores high in the ATS (Applicant Tracking System). ( I do know about Jobscan.co, but it's still a process.) Yesterday, I found an awesome job, spent an hour crafting the perfect cover letter and tweaking my resume, only to find when I clicked on the link to apply, the job had been removed.  Double ugh!!

I have dealt with feelings of jealousy and gotten past them.  I know of some folks that found jobs immediately after leaving and didn't need to dip into their severance.  I wanted to be one of those people.  God and I had  little talk about it while I was listening to a sermon for the second time (one of the benefits of singing in the choir), he let me know I needed to just let it go, I think I have.

I am still using my time wisely, not only looking for a job, but doing things I wouldn't be able to if I was employed full time.  On the other hand, networking and job search related activities have prevented me from doing things I'd rather be doing, like going to the gym.   Since I have the energy to read at times other than while I am eating on the weekends, I am catching up on some of my reading and reading new books that were not on my list prior to transition (which means the stack of to-be read books is still high.)

Thankfully, God has blessed me with an abundance of supportive people who remind me over and over that God will provide.  They encourage me, pray for me, remind me of my strengths, keep my spirits high.  I couldn't do this without them.  I thank God I am not alone.

The Green Siren

For most of my career, my life consisted of arriving to an office early in the morning, leaving between 10 and 12 hours later and occasionally exiting the campus for lunch.  A practice that I am sure is not too uncommon from most others in corporate America.

I have been a gold level Starbucks member since March 2012.  It took me almost 6 months to earn those 30 stars, which meant that on average, I visited a Starbucks about once a week.  Truth be told, I probably earned most of those stars on vacation, because normally, it can be weeks between visits.

In my experience, Starbucks is someplace you stop on your way into work to get your morning fix when your canister at home is empty.  It's a place to meet friends and catch-up on the weekend between errands.  It's a place to stop in the mall to get a treat.  I became a huge Starbuck's fan traveling internationally, not for their coffee, but for the free internet.  It does not matter where in the world I have been, Starbucks always has free wi-fi, and for that, I will be a loyal patron.

A few of the mugs I've collected

Since I've been in transition, I've had the opportunity to gain an entirely new appreciation for Starbucks.  If I wanted to, I could stay at home and conduct the job search from my kitchen table, isolating myself with my macbook - but you all know, that is not me.  Being an extrovert, I have attended almost every networking opportunity I can, and still drive 20 miles to go to the gym 4 - 5 days/week.  I meet friends and former colleagues for lunch.  This means there are times when I have a couple of hours between appointments.  If the lag time is 3 hours or less, I will hang out at a Starbucks and conduct my job search from there.

I was astonished the first time I did this, in the 3 hours I sat in the store it was never not busy.  From 8:30am - 11:30am, there was a constant stream of people and every table was filled.  I wasn't the only one that spent more than just a few moments there.  So you are thinking "that it's just a morning thing."  Not so.  I have been to Starbucks at all times and in all places and observed the same thing.  Even stores that are isolated with bad parking are constantly filled.

Who is hanging out there?  A lot of people in transition.  As I've sat in the comfy outdoor chairs at one of my favorite locations at Main and MacArthur, I've heard a lot of people networking.  I've been rude and eavesdropped and taken mental notes on companies that were discussed.  I've also met contacts and done networking of my own.  There are those that look like students, faces buried in their laptop screens, making sure they are unapproachable, earbuds in place, streaming whatever.  My least favorite was the couple that was breaking up.  The girls was so annoying, I wanted to tell the guy "run and don't look back", but kept my head down and mouth shut.  (Why is it that I can concentrate so much I don't hear the sound of the police officer following me for 2 miles trying to pull me over, but I can't block out the irritating conversation of strangers?)  At other similar establishments, I've observed life groups (aka small groups, bible study groups, accountability groups) having their weekly meeting.  

This completely changes my perception of Starbucks.  It's not a constant churn, but a community.  If I were so inclined, I would consider buying a franchise and running my own store.  It's hard to imagine how it could not be successful.  

For coffee snobs, those of us that miss Diedrich's, those that don't like coffee, and those that don't agree with Starbucks politics, it might be hard to get behind the brand.  While I fit at least one of those categories, I am grateful they exist and are so customer centric, especially at this juncture. I'm obtaining stars a lot more often now, but hoping for the time when visiting a Starbucks is an occasional treat as opposed to a frequent habit.

Hello, my name is Karen. How can I help you?

I love people and I love meeting new people.  I love hearing about their lives and experiences.  Some of the most unassuming people have the most interesting lives.  One of my former colleagues escaped a communist country, by himself, when he was a young adult.  It took working with him almost 10 years to pull that out of him.  I think he should write a book.  There are happy, well-adjusted, successful people that have had horrible pasts.  Hearing their stories is inspiring.

I love helping people.  In fact, one of my biggest motivators in a job is being helpful.  I can be competitive (as anyone that has played Words With Friends with me can testify), but I will go out of my way to help someone else be successful.  Some people call that customer service, I call it "doing my job."  Sometimes I am placed in a position where I am asked to help someone that is unkind.  I do it not because I want to, but because it is the right thing to do.  My favorite times are helping someone that I truly like or that has been gracious to me; not as character building, just a joyful experience.

I don't like talking about myself.  I (clearly) like talking about places I've been to, and experiences I've had; I love telling stories.  I don't like telling people how wonderful I am and why they should hire me.  In fact, once I've accomplished something, I generally forget about it and move on to my next challenge.  I have sat in meetings and listened to my boss say "We used to have this problem but Karen did this and fixed it", and I'd think "Oh yeah, that's right, I did."

Statistics say that 70% of jobs are found via "networking."  Networking takes many forms, among them are: telling everyone you know what type of job you are seeking, coffees, lunches, and networking groups.  Networking can be very humbling when someone that you liked, but let go, asks for your resume because they heard of a job for which they think you would be a good fit. But networking is not just about you, it's about how you can help others.  Networking is meeting someone, introducing yourself and asking how you can help the other person.  I dread having to tell a stranger how they can help me, but I think I've finally gotten my elevator speech polished after hearing so many others give theirs.

Meeting new people, hearing their stories, helping them, coffee, lunch, sounds like something right up my alley; for the most part it is.  The exception? Networking groups.

On my way to a networking group

Anyone that has ever been to a singles group knows that the first time you attend you will immediately be accosted by the person that has been a member the longest.  They will also have the poorest social skills and will attempt to monopolize your time.

Networking groups are very similar to singles groups.  There are some very good people that are a joy to meet and a pleasure to help.  There are those that are likely good people, just a little rough around the edges.  My least favorite, those that were not nice before they started their search, are still disagreeable, and now bitter about their situation.  The real gems are those that are not seeking anything, just there to help others. I've been blessed to meet a couple of these saints.

I have had some interesting things said to me in networking groups.  It's really hard to want to help someone that you are pretty sure is an HR nightmare when they make comments that are unprofessional at best and borderline illegal.  Or most recently after attending my 3rd networking group in 3 days, I made the comment that I was tired of talking about myself, only to have the Asian woman standing next to me say "That's really surprising, I thought all Americans liked to talk about themselves."  (Wow, so glad I dressed up and left the house at 6:30 a.m. to talk with you.)  These are the situations where I keep smiling and pretend I didn't hear.

Will I continue to attend these groups?  Certainly, although I'll likely limit myself to one per week.   It gives me opportunity to help others that truly need it.  I have met some lovely and impressive people, some that I think may even be friends once I make it through this transition.  These groups keep me sharp handling difficult people during a time when I have the potential to spend a lot of time alone or only with people I like.  Finally, I find that God will often use annoying people or situations to bring about good in my life.  The good might not be a job, but one never knows.

To those of you reading this that have been part of my networking experience by passing along my resume, making introductions, encouraging or praying, I cannot tell you how much your help means to me, I talk about you a lot.  If I haven't already, I hope one day to return the favor.

Because I Can

Because I Can has become my temporary motto and go-to hashtag.

Six months ago I learned that I would no longer be working for the company that has employed me for the last 10 years.  I have given much time and energy to the company and while the news was sad, I was also hopeful.  I truly believe it means that God has something else he wants me to do.  I was given a long lead time, 7 months before my last day paid, and with 3.5 months to go, I was asked to turn in my company belongings and begin "garden leave."  For the last 10 weeks (and another 5 remaining),  I have been paid as a full-time employee, severance starts at the end of garden leave.  A pretty nice situation which allows me to do things I might not be able to otherwise - hence, Because I Can.

There are definite sadnesses, the greatest is not seeing people with whom I had spent the majority of my day.  Many of them left the company shortly after we were notified.  I continued to go into the office, even when I had little work to do, only because I wanted to spend time with the very fine people that were not only my colleagues, but my friends.  On July 2, I said "see you soon" and started my new chapter.

A few of my lovely colleagues

Even the most casual observer of my life will know that I not only love to work, but I love to help people.  As long as the work I am doing is making a difference, I am neither appalled nor stressed by long days and challenges.  When I told a friend and former colleague of my impending changes, his concern was not whether or not I would be OK financially, but how I would handle having so much purposeless time.  A valid concern.

So, what does an unashamed workaholic do when they are getting paid to not work?  I work of course.

I have pretty much finished all my organizing endeavors.  Starting first with my closet and the mess that occurs with about 90 pairs of shoes (my dad joked that I should put IKEA assembler as a skill on my LinkedIn profile) and ending with the media cabinet.  I will be finished (I think) once I am satisfied with a means for storing the approximately 350 cds which accounts for 2/3s of my cd collection.  My house is not quite as clutter free as a model home, but close.  Unwanted mail only enters my home when it requires action, otherwise it hits the shred or recycle bins in the garage.

temporary storage - in alphabetic order by artist

I have taken up chalk paint.  I started first with my mother's dresser that had been in the garage and was now needed up in my ensuite as part of the closet organization.  I then addressed my guest room furniture that started out mint green in the 19hm-hms when I was 5 years old, was later painted to resemble pine and is now back to the original green color, with sunny yellow accents.  It's a very addictive hobby, don't get me near anything that needs some sprucing, my solution is chalk paint and stenciling.

Mom's dresser before it was moved

KP's dresser now in guest room

I took a fabulous holiday to Spain, Morocco, Gibraltar and Portugal prior to my departure.  But the real luxury was the 10-day road trip I took with my parents to visit my brother in Montana and my personal 2-day visit with the Scholtens in Wyoming.  It was delightful spending time with them and seeing the country up-close.  We all had a great time and said our good-byes to Chris's Montana home before he moved to Texas.  On the drive back, Mom, Dad and I spent a day in Yellowstone seeing parts of the park I don't remember having been to in prior trips, stopping to take pictures of bison.

Dad and I in Yellowstone

Chris, Mom and I at church

Polo Ponies in Jackson

Had I been working, there wouldn't have been a chance that I would have been able to take 23 days (4.5 weeks) vacation in 3 months time.  To do that, then work Royal Family Kids Camp for a week, would have been doubly unheard of, but this year I did - Because I Can.  At camp, I helped Audrey with the mail, ran errands to Walmart, drove 260 miles round trip to pick up a child that wasn't able to make it to the  church to be bussed down with the rest of the campers, helped the photo team, served food, helped where needed and did night relief (stay with the campers for 2 hours so the counselors can have a break).  I had asked to be given tasks that did not require me to be with campers all the time so I could go to interviews if needed, but phone coverage was sketchy, allowing me to dedicate the entire week to the kids.

Counselor Greg carrying 2 special campers

Some of the other Because I Can moments are smaller, but no less memorable.  When my dad was going to be gone most of the day,  2 days in a row, my mom and I explored new restaurants, both of which we are happy to recommend - South of Nicks in San Clemente and Driftwood Kitchen in Laguna Beach.

Mom and I at Driftwood Kitchen

One morning, I decided to greet the day from the Crescent Bay overlook in Laguna Beach.   It was so refreshing to listen to the sea lions bark and the waves meet the shore.  In the last few weeks, I have taken pictures of the sunset from various beaches, because I neither have office hours, nor need to worry about being fresh by a certain hour the next day.  A real treat was taking a weekday morning after Labor Day to marvel at the waves created by hurricane Linda, as well as admire the surfers that dared to ride them.

Salt Creek Beach

Newport Beach Pier 

 

Not only am I fortunate to have these Because I Can moments, but as my friend Dave pointed out when I was lamenting that my day only consisted of going to the gym, applying to jobs and taking pictures of the sunset, I am getting paid to do it.  Thank you Dave for reminding me how truly blessed I am.

Future blog posts will talk about my thoughts and experiences during this "transition time."  Please join me in praying that postings will be few and that this time, while precious, will be short in duration.  I might like this phase more than anticipated, but I still like to work.