Not Alone

The last 10 years, I was employed by a well respected company and had jobs that allowed me to challenge myself, utilizing my talents and intellect. I developed relationships with quality people, visited some beautiful and exotic places, gained new skills.  I could be angry and bitter that was taken away from me, instead, I am choosing to be grateful that I had a work experience most people only dream about.

Yesterday was my last official day as an employee of that fine company.  I turned in my separation paperwork and purchased my final allocation of company products.  I suppose I should have been sad, but I wasn't.  There are still good people there and I wish the company the very best, but the company to which I gave my all was gone before I walked out the door.  I did my mourning 6 months ago.

One of the questions I'm asked most often is "How are you doing?"  This isn't the polite rhetorical question we all ask, people want to know how I am holding up emotionally during the job search.  And the answer is for the most part, pretty well.

I am grateful right now for my strong faith.  I do know that God has a plan for my welfare (Jer 29:11).  I have been sending out a status report and prayer requests (I will in many ways always be a project manager) and have been very specific in one of my prayers.  I was asking that I receive a job offer by my final date of employment.  That didn't happen.  I had one friend gently tell me I was putting God on my timetable, to which I responded "not really."  God wants us to ask him for things (James 4:2b).  I'm not angry.  I don't believe God did not hear me, or answer that prayer.  The answer to that prayer was "no."  We live in a culture that promotes if we do steps A,B and C that D will happen and we apply that perspective to God.  God wants us to ask, but God is not a formula or Amazon.  God is God.  He knows what's best for me (us).  He sees and knows things that I do not.  I honestly believe that there is something I'm supposed to learn, a person I'm supposed to meet or an experience I'm supposed to have, and when that happens, I'll find the job I'm supposed to have.  I do believe that God is the one that will provide my next job, but that I also need to do work.  As Dallas Willard pointed out in the Divine Conspiracy "Rather than pray the weeds go away in your garden, go pull them."

My strongest emotion is hopefulness, my next strongest emotions are boredom and frustration.  I am so bored with talking about myself.  I am an extrovert, but bored with networking.  I want to look at a stranger and only be interested in who they are and learning more about them instead of wondering if they know someone that can help me find a job.  Ugh!  I am bored with reading job descriptions searching for what they are really looking for so I can make sure my resume scores high in the ATS (Applicant Tracking System). ( I do know about Jobscan.co, but it's still a process.) Yesterday, I found an awesome job, spent an hour crafting the perfect cover letter and tweaking my resume, only to find when I clicked on the link to apply, the job had been removed.  Double ugh!!

I have dealt with feelings of jealousy and gotten past them.  I know of some folks that found jobs immediately after leaving and didn't need to dip into their severance.  I wanted to be one of those people.  God and I had  little talk about it while I was listening to a sermon for the second time (one of the benefits of singing in the choir), he let me know I needed to just let it go, I think I have.

I am still using my time wisely, not only looking for a job, but doing things I wouldn't be able to if I was employed full time.  On the other hand, networking and job search related activities have prevented me from doing things I'd rather be doing, like going to the gym.   Since I have the energy to read at times other than while I am eating on the weekends, I am catching up on some of my reading and reading new books that were not on my list prior to transition (which means the stack of to-be read books is still high.)

Thankfully, God has blessed me with an abundance of supportive people who remind me over and over that God will provide.  They encourage me, pray for me, remind me of my strengths, keep my spirits high.  I couldn't do this without them.  I thank God I am not alone.

The Green Siren

For most of my career, my life consisted of arriving to an office early in the morning, leaving between 10 and 12 hours later and occasionally exiting the campus for lunch.  A practice that I am sure is not too uncommon from most others in corporate America.

I have been a gold level Starbucks member since March 2012.  It took me almost 6 months to earn those 30 stars, which meant that on average, I visited a Starbucks about once a week.  Truth be told, I probably earned most of those stars on vacation, because normally, it can be weeks between visits.

In my experience, Starbucks is someplace you stop on your way into work to get your morning fix when your canister at home is empty.  It's a place to meet friends and catch-up on the weekend between errands.  It's a place to stop in the mall to get a treat.  I became a huge Starbuck's fan traveling internationally, not for their coffee, but for the free internet.  It does not matter where in the world I have been, Starbucks always has free wi-fi, and for that, I will be a loyal patron.

A few of the mugs I've collected

Since I've been in transition, I've had the opportunity to gain an entirely new appreciation for Starbucks.  If I wanted to, I could stay at home and conduct the job search from my kitchen table, isolating myself with my macbook - but you all know, that is not me.  Being an extrovert, I have attended almost every networking opportunity I can, and still drive 20 miles to go to the gym 4 - 5 days/week.  I meet friends and former colleagues for lunch.  This means there are times when I have a couple of hours between appointments.  If the lag time is 3 hours or less, I will hang out at a Starbucks and conduct my job search from there.

I was astonished the first time I did this, in the 3 hours I sat in the store it was never not busy.  From 8:30am - 11:30am, there was a constant stream of people and every table was filled.  I wasn't the only one that spent more than just a few moments there.  So you are thinking "that it's just a morning thing."  Not so.  I have been to Starbucks at all times and in all places and observed the same thing.  Even stores that are isolated with bad parking are constantly filled.

Who is hanging out there?  A lot of people in transition.  As I've sat in the comfy outdoor chairs at one of my favorite locations at Main and MacArthur, I've heard a lot of people networking.  I've been rude and eavesdropped and taken mental notes on companies that were discussed.  I've also met contacts and done networking of my own.  There are those that look like students, faces buried in their laptop screens, making sure they are unapproachable, earbuds in place, streaming whatever.  My least favorite was the couple that was breaking up.  The girls was so annoying, I wanted to tell the guy "run and don't look back", but kept my head down and mouth shut.  (Why is it that I can concentrate so much I don't hear the sound of the police officer following me for 2 miles trying to pull me over, but I can't block out the irritating conversation of strangers?)  At other similar establishments, I've observed life groups (aka small groups, bible study groups, accountability groups) having their weekly meeting.  

This completely changes my perception of Starbucks.  It's not a constant churn, but a community.  If I were so inclined, I would consider buying a franchise and running my own store.  It's hard to imagine how it could not be successful.  

For coffee snobs, those of us that miss Diedrich's, those that don't like coffee, and those that don't agree with Starbucks politics, it might be hard to get behind the brand.  While I fit at least one of those categories, I am grateful they exist and are so customer centric, especially at this juncture. I'm obtaining stars a lot more often now, but hoping for the time when visiting a Starbucks is an occasional treat as opposed to a frequent habit.